just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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