you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
