Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize