Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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