curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
