honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
