Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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