For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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