I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize