I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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