Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
