yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
