garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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