I showed him my bush... on skype.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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