For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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