The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
