now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
