I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize