Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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