addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
