Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!

(1-310): View more from California

you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out

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(206): View more from Washington

No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE

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(435): View more from Utah

he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!

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(269): View more from Michigan

I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.

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(207): View more from Maine

I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.

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(310): View more from California

Can we just ponder our lives for a second.

(818): View more from California

No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.

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(917): View more from New York City

I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

whose shirt was i wearing?

(203): View more from Connecticut

his little sister's

(860): View more from Connecticut

what was she wearing

(203): View more from Connecticut

a feather boa and 6 inch heels

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