nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
