Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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