you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
