And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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