All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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