she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My penis needs a shock collar
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I wear drunk well.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize