i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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