So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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