What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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