we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
