My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
