shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
