i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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