party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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