there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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