So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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