i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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