she takes plan B like it's going out of style
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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