3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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