I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
