Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
