I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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