It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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