It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
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