I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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