I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
whose parrot is this?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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