walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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