she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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