I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
