yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
