Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Less talking, more tequila
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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