Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Fuck appropriateness.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
