I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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