Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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