I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
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