can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
