Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
this is an emotional support booty call
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
