I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
