I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
